Our MC was the indomitable, inimitable Mr. Everything-You-Wanted-to-Know Tomek.

The Prompt:

(Condensed version) As a staff member of Warner Brothers, compose a note notifying Wile E. Coyote’s spouse of his demise in the line of duty.

My effort:

To: The Widow Coyote

From: Warner Brothers’ Defunct Toon Critter Department

Dear Ms Coyote:

It is with great sorrow and deep surprise that I need to report to you that after over seventy years of cockamamie attempts which generated countless warnings from not only the legal department but the Toon Stuntcritters Union (not to mention the myriad complaints from said union about headliners scabbing real gagsters out of work), it is my sad, smarmy duty to inform you that your significant other Wile E. Coyote (hereinafter “the late”) has finally succumbed to the laws of physics that apply in the world outside the frame of the ‘Toon cell.

The reports are sketchy so I’m not 100% certain whether Acme’s Anvil Quality Control was asleep at the switch and let through a unit made of real iron, or whether their high explosives department let the real thing through. Be that as it may they send their deepest condolences with only a hint of a snicker.

Our legal department is in contact with your attorneys even as we write, but be assured that we echo their heartfelt “Beep-beep.”

With all the love and affection the other Warners mustered for Jack,

I remain yours,

Yosemite Fleischer, BBaD


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