May 25, 2018

Past lives

Tonight I came home and found eerie evidence that my wife had once been reincarnated, and had walked this Earth in a previous life.

My wife’s former employer used to provide employees at Thanksgiving a full, local farm-raised fresh turkey — something that had been walking around an hour or so before you picked it up. We weighed one of these monsters, and it came out to 45 lbs. — and this was fresh, not frozen. Now, I can break down a turkey or chicken carcass if I have to but I’ll admit — I’m a rank amateur. My wife could plop that huge turkey into our kitchen sink, and, wielding our sharpest knife, within 20-30 minutes have it completely processed and broken into its component parts, sorted (e.g., dark versus light meat), many of the parts already bagged for freezing or distribution to friends. My job would be to clean up the debris pile of bones out of the sink.

This is why I wasn’t surprised tonight when I opened the fridge after returning home and found a stack of Tupperware packed with fruit, sorted by fruit type. I had gotten her one of those edible fruit arrangements for her graduation — and true to form, she broke it down and processed it, no doubt with her trusty knife slashing to and fro.

Clearly, in a previous life, she had been either a butcher or a farmer’s wife.

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